Part 2 of Alex’s Dissertation about Living Simply… AKA “My scatter-brained ramblings as I deal with a South American existential crisis"

Note: This is a long entry that doesn’t always flow very logically or get to the point right away (much like a lot of sermons I’ve heard, and some of the few that I’ve preached). But it is the culmination of something I’ve been thinking about a LOT over the past few weeks or so. I encourage you to please read all o f it (along with “Part 1,” from which the thought process of this entry follows directly), because I’d love your feedback, especially if you’re a current, past or prospective/future Young Adult Volunteer

So looking back on it, I now realize that there were some mixed motivations when I decided to become a YAV. And again, not all of that is bad – indeed there are far worse things that college grads could be doing just because it’s popular or “cool” besides volunteering in the non-western world on behalf of beneficial social/religious causes.

But Sean (fellow Peru YAV) asks an interesting question (as Sean frequently does): “If you couldn’t tell anyone about what you did this year, would you still decide to be a YAV?” Now, to be honest, I don’t think this is a completely fair question. Sharing your story is arguably the most important part of the YAV experience; I suspect that describing to friends, family and churches the things I’ve seen and done here in Peru will have a far greater positive social/economic impact than the actual volunteer work I’m doing here in Peru with churches and organizations that provide direct assistance for the poor. However, there’s always a dual nature of telling these stories, because although it would be wrong for us not to share such unique, life changing experiences, it’s almost impossible not to describe them in a way that is kind of self-righteous (whether intentional or not). There is a temptation to “martyr yourself” – intentionally put yourself in situations where you’re deprived of modern technological comforts – not only in an effort to create personal and spiritual growth/gain a deeper appreciation for life, but also because it’s a “cool” thing to do, and it gives you a great story that will make you a hit at dinner parties and wedding receptions. THIS is the possible danger of mixed motivations that Sean is getting at when he asks that question.

I’m not saying that I ever used to stand shivering underneath my cold shower, thinking to myself “this will be SO worth it after I get back and can honestly tell people that I took cold showers for a year straight.” The more likely scenario is that someone in the US will someday complain about their shower one morning running out of hot water, and then BAM! – I can chime in saying “well at least you didn’t have to take cold showers for a year straight like I did when I was in Peru, and like [fill in the blank with appropriate number] percent of the world does every day.”

Then there’s the even sneakier situation, when someone ELSE is talking about having to take cold shower while (s)he was living in a foreign country, and then I can come in by saying “Yeah, but what I think stinks even worse about not having hot water is when you have to wash your clothes by hand. You scrub and scrub, but they never really ever seem to get clean, and all the while your hands are FREEZING.” So basically in these ways, the well-intentioned person living simply abuses the tales of their experience to make others feel guilty for their own lifestyles. Or the simple-liver (“liver” as in “person who lives,” not the organ) uses the story of their experience to “one-up” other simple-livers to see who is the most “hardcore.”

Obviously, I’m getting really nit-picky, and there are also deeper issues of psychology/human nature at work here that I’ll spare you from exploring further (if you made it reading this far…). Suffice it to say that I know that to some extent EVERYONE does this sort of story-telling that is part genuine, part self-righteous. I may be guilty of doing it more than others. But I DON’T want to say that people should “censor themselves” when it comes to re-counting unique experiences. I think everything will be just fine as long as people have the self-confidence/esteem to acknowledge that one doesn’t need to proclaim these experiences to have a sense of self-worth, and that on the other hand, just because someone hasn’t had the experience of living simply and intentionally on another continent doesn’t make him/her less of a “good” person.

One other danger of “martyring yourself” is that it can potentially be HARMFUL for your personal physical/emotional health (as opposed to creating personal growth) if you neglect to give appropriate attention to your needs. With a little dedication, the typical North American can (relatively) easily live in a way that is simpler, more environmentally-friendly and also more in-line with how the rest of the world’s population lives. However, that does NOT mean that I can survive and be healthy for a year while trying to live EXACTLY like an Indigenous South American high-altitude subsistence farmer, because my body and mind has spent the rest of my life up to this point being a middle-upper class North American, not an Indigenous South American high-altitude subsistence farmer.

Another interesting element in this “living simply” debate is the attitudes of the people that I’m here supposedly being in solidarity with. Now, I haven’t had many up-front, extended conversations with Peruvian friends or church/host family members about the obvious differences in technological luxuries and comforts between my personal lifestyle in the US and the average working-class lifestyle here in Peru, but I would suspect (or at least hope) that people here appreciate the fact that I understand how great the discrepancy in wealth is, and that I’m here showing them that I care by being in solidarity. However, for many people (and especially, I think, for people where I live on the outskirts of Lima), the modern, western life of wealth and luxury is exactly what they’re working so hard towards! They would love to enjoy the comforts that I have in the US: automatic dishwashers, washing machines and dryers, high speed internet, affordable personal automobile etc. For me to come to Peru having rejected what they see as goals and signals of “progress” and upward mobility must be dumbfounding. So while I’m living in solidarity with them physically, I’m still on a different wavelength culturally/philosophically – no way would they make the same decision I did if they were in my shoes!

But maybe this is a case of where I really can “make a difference” socially/economically HERE in Peru through my ministry as a YAV (as opposed to just making a difference through “reverse ministry” back to the US through my correspondence and reports of my thoughts and reflections). I can show people that wealth, luxuries and technology, which may increase social status or make life “easier,” doesn’t always make life “better” or more meaningful. In fact, these things can inhibit us from connecting deeply and lovingly to each other as a community rather than a group of isolated individuals.

And I agree 100% with that message – it’s definitely true for me, and it’s one of the beliefs that factored into my decision to become a YAV. But at the same time, if the reason I’m here is to show these confused poor people in the southern hemisphere that their materialistic goals of wealth and comfort will turn out to be empty and unfulfilling, then aren’t I just guilty of a new type of western cultural imperialism – one that advances the agenda of a postmodern, liberal white North American? Isn’t this a perfect contemporary example of what not to be: the western aid worker who has gone to the “undeveloped lands” to give them a paternalistic hand up, courtesy of advanced western thought?

In the end, I don’t have the perfect answer. I think there’s got to be a middle road somewhere: a way that I can show through my life choice to be here that I think the fruits of high modern, advanced capitalism aren’t all they’re cracked up to be as far as improving the real “quality” of life – but without doing it in a preachy, paternalistic way.

So finally, back to the original point (and yes, I promise I had an original point!): What did I decide for myself in terms of dealing with the discomfort that being surrounded in comfort/technology gives me? Well, I decided I’m going to keep taking my hot showers. I’m going to keep using the washing machine. But I have also decided to intentionally cut back on using the internet and TV. I think that these things are keeping me from “being present” with my host family, and really forming deep relationships with them. I’ve been aware of this danger for some time now, but what really made me notice it happened just a couple days ago. On Saturday, Angelo, my ten year old “host cousin” that visits the house only on the weekends and loves hanging out with me, came upstairs to my room to ask me if I had time to come downstairs and play with him. I had spent the previous hour or two just mindlessly checking email, chatting and using facebook. Of course, I quickly turned off the computer and went downstairs, feeling guilty for having not done it earlier, and we had a lot of fun. See, from the two months of living with my first host family, I know that I can easily adapt to life without the internet or TV. I don’t really miss it too much when it’s gone. But when it’s there, it’s pretty hard for me not to get sucked in. However, I think by making this intentional, conscious decision to start abstaining, I will be able to break my “addiction,” and eventually be much better off for it. So if you happen to notice me spending time on g-mail’s chat service, skype or facebook, tell me to go out and live in Peru. Or at least make me feel guilty for whatever I say I’m doing that’s “so important” at the time.

I guess that’s the final irony in all this. I would very much like to have a discussion about the (many) issues I’ve raised with these two blog entries. However, starting this week I won’t “be present (that is, online) very much to contribute to it. I am planning on checking my email and blog comments occasionally, and maybe I’ll write down the comments so I can write about them later in my journal before efficiently and quickly transcribing them to my blog (which is actually the way I wrote these past two entries – on paper first so I could focus). Well, anyway, thanks for reading all this, and God bless.

- Alex